


Sleepless Lullaby

by 4sidedtrianglz



Category: Hanna (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 11:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18827686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4sidedtrianglz/pseuds/4sidedtrianglz
Summary: In the aftermath of everything that happened, Hanna and 249, newly Clara, discuss the past, the present and what it means for their future. They've both lost so much to get here, but maybe, they've gained something that makes it all worth the while. Because in their search for freedom, family, and the truth they found each other, and just maybe they are what each others been searching for all along.





	Sleepless Lullaby

They'd set up camp in the middle of the woods, to hide out through the night and try to figure out where they would go from there in the morning. They would be looking for them even more relentlessly now than they had before and they would be extra cautious now that they knew what they were capable of. Hanna had expected more to join her in their escape, instead she had ended up feeling like she lost more than she’d had before. Even if she had convinced more to escape with her, she had no idea what she would’ve done with all of them. Staying off the radar with just the two of them has been a challenge as it is. However she still had no clue where she would go from here. She supposed when she had initially proposed they rescue the other girl, she had expected her father to still be with her. He would’ve had a solution to get them all out of this situation, the way he’d had one for every other one in her life. It was sad that she only realized how much she depended on him now that he was gone. She quickly snapped herself out of it. This was no time for mourning. She had to make sure her and Clara made it through the night and came up with a plan that would ensure they made it through every night after that. They couldn’t stay out here the woods, they would be expecting that and would comb the woods more carefully and anyways she didn’t want to live this way anymore and after everything Clara had done to escape she didn’t deserve to live like that either. She couldn’t go back to her birth father either. Even if he would take her back after the stunt she pulled, she didn't how she would even begin to explain the situation with Clara. She couldn’t go back to Sophie either, not after everything that had happened. Her heart still ached from how they’d left off, but she’d put her and her family through enough already. She couldn’t risk causing them anymore grief. One day, she swore to herself, she’d make it up to Sophie, she’d explain everything and make sure Sophie knew how much she means to her as the person who taught her how beautiful the outside world could be and how maybe people weren’t as bad as she’d been led to believe. She’d fight UTRAX everyday in whatever form it came until she could make that day possible. 

Clara put out the fire and they both settles in for the night. It wasn’t as biting cold as the forest Hanna grew up in, but they huddled for warmth anyways. They’d ditched the bus a while back as the people after them would be looking for it. They would continue to hike through the forest in the morning and stop for supplies in the next town but as of now the only clothes they had were the ones on their backs and neither of them had exactly dressed for camping. They’d eaten a rabbit Hanna had caught for dinner and drank water from a nearby stream. They couldn’t risk keeping the fire going all night, not when they’d already heard planes and helicopters flying nearby, searching for them most likely. They were both pretty touch starved anyways, Clara more so than Hanna, as she rested her head against the older girls chest. Never before in her life had she felt this kind of comfort, of having someone’s arms wrapped around her letting her feel safe and cared about. She wondered if the other girls from the compound had craved this feeling as well or if this was just another example of how different she was from the rest of them. She’d always known she was different, from the very beginning. She’d always been the most curious of the lot, asking questions and wondering what the outside world, instead of just following orders and doing what she was told without question. This curiosity got her into trouble more often than not, but now it was worth it because she was free and a stranger and more beautiful place than she ever could’ve dreamed of. Despite how much she’d despised that place, there was a twinge of guilt in her heart for leaving it, for shooting one of the girls that she’d once considered her sisters, for abandoning the rest of them for some girl she barely knew. She knew from the moment Hanna arrived that she would be the only one to leave with her. They were all too obedient, they couldn’t help it they’d been trained to be that way, and so had she, but when push came to shove her curiosity won out and to hell with the consequences. The only person who was ever remotely similar to her was 242. She remembered how much she’d cherished the rare nights when she would try to talk to the other girl through the wall separating their rooms. They typically ended with 242 hushing to go to sleep and then ignoring any further attempts she made to conversate, but on especially rare nights, Clara would ask her a question about the outside world and 242 would respond with a quiet ‘I don’t know,’ but those were always the moments she cherished because in those moments she could hear the wonder in the other girls voice and she could sleep knowing she wasn’t alone with this desire to one day see what’s beyond the walls of the compound and discover what the world has to offer. But in the end none of that had mattered, 242 had made her choice to evacuate with the other instead of escape with her, despite her best attempts to convince her otherwise. 

So now it was just her, well her and Hanna. She looked up at the other girls face to her eyes wide and alert, with a hint of sadness behind the stark blue orbs as they tracked every slight movement within her range of sight despite the darkness of the forest at night. Clara supposed it was pretty stupid to think that they could just fall asleep after everything they’d been through the past two days. Although their bodies were exhausted, their minds couldn’t find rest. To think in just 48 hours, she’d disobeyed orders, killed one of the other girls, found out her real name, fought several trained soldiers, watched a man die in her lap, heard his last words, and then helped to burying him next to the woman he loved. She could feel waves of sorrow and grief wafting off of Hanna as the wounds to her heart were still fresh. In her heart, she felt something too, but it seemed strange to mourn a man she barely knew. She looked at Hanna again, a question on her lips, but 15 years of conditioning told her she was better off keeping her mouth shut. 

“What is it?” Hanna asked softly, having sensed the question she was so hesitant to ask.

Even those few words were filled with a sorrow and heartache so deep, that only the overwhelming fear of being caught kept her from collapsing in a flood of tears.

“What,” Clara whispered hesitantly. She shifted position slightly so she could face Hanna better and then continued with, “What was he like, Erik Heller, er I mean your father?” 

She said that last part so quietly she was almost unsure if Hanna heard her. Words had weight, especially ones that she didn’t fully grasp the meaning of. The closest thing she’d ever had to a father was the lead doctor at the Compound, but her experiences with him were nowhere near as close as what she’d seen between Hanna and Erik Heller. Erik Heller was the name she’d heard him referred to ass back at the Compound and Hanna had called him Dad in his final moments, but other than that she knew nothing about him. 

“He was...” she paused looking at Clara’s face and then out at the forest surrounding them, “For the longest time, he was all I had. He raised me in a forest just like this one. He taught me how to hunt and start a fire and fend for myself. He told me I was special and that people who were envious of that specialness who try to come and take me away, so they could use me for their own selfish purpose,”

Clara herself had heard a similar bit back at the Compound. Although phrased differently, the underlying message was the same. 

“But he told me I was stronger than them, stronger than they could ever have imagined and that it is that underestimation of me that would be their downfall,”

Her voice cracked slightly at this as if she just now realized how much truth had been behind his words. Clara wrapped her arms tighter around the older girl to make up for her lack of knowledge of comforting she could say. 

“When I was younger, he would always sing this song for me. He said my mother had sang it before she died, but as I got older he stopped singing it and when I asked him why he stopped he said it was because he saw her face in mine more and more with each passing day and when he’d look into my eyes and sing that song, he’d be overcome by sadness and he didn’t want me to link the song to sadness.” 

She smiled even as eyes welled with tears she wouldn’t let fall as she recalled the memory. Clara realized it was the first time she’d seen Hanna genuinely smile. 

“Can I hear it?" Clara asked softly. 

Hanna nodded and the two girls shifted once again as Hanna turned to lay on her back while Clara kept her arms around her. 

"Do not sleep my starling, sleep my doe," she began, “She is wrapped in curtains, laid in snow,”

The girls stayed like that for the rest of the night. Unable to sleep, but at the very least having a short reprieve from all the problems they’ve had so far and the more they know are surely to come. They knew that they’d never safe, they knew that they’d always be on the run in one way or another, but maybe, just maybe, they’d be okay. Because despite all that they had lost, all that they’d given up chasing after a dream of freedom, that in reality might always just be a dream, they had each other. And just maybe that would be enough. Two lone, aching souls in a world that had forsaken them. Kindred spirits. They’d go from there.

“She will bury you inside her fur  
Do not sleep  
She waits for you to sleep  
Do not sleep  
She waits for you to sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is only my 3rd fan fiction but I love Hanna so much. This show has the poc wlw romance that I've been craving for years. I love all our gay girls, but I was really interested in Clara's character because she didn't get a lot of screen time. Although I still love Sophie x Hanna, I wanted to write this because I feel like Clara x Hanna has a lot of potential. In a perfect world both could be canon, but I'm fine with it going either way. I just wanted to write this fanfic because I feel like Clara and Hanna have been through a lot together and I wanted a nice soft fic that says that they're gonna be okay. Hopefully Hanna will get a season 2 and we will know for sure if everything works out.


End file.
